Monthly Archive for June, 2007Page 2 of 6

The Whispers of God

I should be asleep…tonight’s different from last night, though. Tonight I’m thinking about the gift of words - the blessing of expression.

Byron and I were listening to George Winston tonight, because I’m feeling poetic and George Winston fits me when I feel poetic…

When I heard the first few notes of the “album” entitled December, I was right back in my stark little dorm room on a mountain in Asheville, NC where I went to boarding school during my junior year of high school. Back then, my words were truly my closest companion. I had a treasured book of Emily Dickinson poems that I would read and reread.

My favorite of her poems in my little book (she wrote hundreds in total), was, not surprisingly, also the saddest to me:

“IF you were coming in the fall,
I’d brush the summer by
With half a smile and half a spurn,
As housewives do a fly.

If I could see you in a year,
I’d wind the months in balls,
And put them each in separate drawers,
Until their time befalls.

If only centuries delayed,
I’d count them on my hand,
Subtracting till my fingers dropped
Into Van Diemen’s land.

If certain, when this life was out,
That yours and mine should be,
I’d toss it yonder like a rind,
And taste eternity.

But now, all ignorant of the length
Of time’s uncertain wing,
It goads me, like the goblin bee,
That will not state its sting.” (Emily Dickinson)

I would listen to George Winston (as we were allowed to listen to little else) and write down my thoughts and little poems. I wish I still had all of those words on paper, although, it would probably be humorously dramatic.

I guess, I was just learning how to be alone.

And now as I’ve begun again to chronicle my feelings. I’ve realized more fully the power of expression.

Writing, for me, is an act of freedom and passion. Words are like jewels to me, and a beautiful thought is like the whispers of God reminding me that I am never alone.

Peace.

What’s In a Name?

You may wonder about the term “Christ-follower”. Why don’t I just identify myself as a “Christian”? You may believe it’s just semantics or the fad of the day…sure, there may be some of that. But, for me, there’s a more specific reason. If I’m going to identify myself with a label - I would at least like it to be definable…to me, if someone says they’re a Christian it only muddies the waters, there’s little clarity there. Somewhere around 90% of Americans consider themselves to be Christian! But why “Christ-follower”? Well, for me it’s much more self-explanatory. It’s not about what I SAY I am, but what I choose to do. It’s not just a label, but a lifestyle.

After 30 plus years of identifying myself as a Christian, I began to realize that I was allowing myself to be defined by a term that had lost any real meaning. This has become particularly important to me especially in the last year or so. Aside from desiring to be more specific in what I am, I also desire to distance myself from what I am not. Beyond the ambiguity of those who randomly call themselves christian, many times, I’ve felt a growing need to separate myself from those who consider themselves to be “Leading Christians”.

Just a few observations which have led me to this conclusion:

*It seems that the longer someone uses a label, the more they become proud of the label itself rather than the reason for it (”Don’t tell me! I’ve been a Christian longer than you’ve been alive…”). Contrast this with a new believer who is so grateful for the rescuing love and grace of God.

*How come Christians from Christian organizations - much of the time, complain the loudest and rebel the most when their church environment is changed - to reach the lost, no less!? This has been so profound @ C3 that I believe we should ask a few specific questions when considering someone for C3 church membership, like: “Would you consider yourself to be a Christian ‘leader’?” or “How long have you worked in that missions organization that evangelizes on the other side of the world?…Oh, 15 years, you say?” and then when they give their glowing resume of how they will do “whatever it takes” to reach lost people-groups (as long as it doesn’t affect their home turf), we should go ahead and hand them a list of other local churches which would make them FEEL more comfortable.

*Following Christ means to follow, not to be led by my own selfish desires. Desires which can lead us to say things like: “This is MY church, and the lost don’t pay the bills!“, or “I want everyone to go to heaven, I just don’t want to go to church with all of them.” or “That pastor is destroying lives, I mean, have you SEEN the kind of people who go to that church?!”…I could go on and on. If these attitudes are how you would define a Christian, then please continue to label yourself one - at least you’ll stay in the majority!

So, for me “Christ-follower” is the flag I’ll fly - not because I’ve arrived, but because it’s what I desire to do: to follow Christ. Many times, it’s following way, way behind - but I’m following nonetheless. And I’m okay with others knowing my intentions - it keeps me accountable and focused on the only One who can truly show me which way to go. Peace.

Just Breathe

I should be asleep. Sometimes, sleep just won’t come. Sometimes it’s for no reason - or stupid reasons like eating poorly or too much caffeine - …and sometimes it’s for a specific reason. I just wish the hate would end…but, I know it won’t this side of eternity. The Book of Revelation speaks of the fact that as evil increases, so does righteousness - I believe this is because, for the righteous, the evil can drive us to our knees and to our Source. It’s a vicious cycle that will continue until Christ’s return. So, I will do what every wife and mother trying to breathe in this fallen world must do - cry out the only One who can truly offer PEACE and safety. It is all the breath I have for now…

Psalm 23
A David Psalm:
1-3 “God, my shepherd! I don’t need a thing.
You have bedded me down in lush meadows,
you find me quiet pools to drink from.
True to your word,
you let me catch my breath
and send me in the right direction.

4 Even when the way goes through
Death Valley,
I’m not afraid
when you walk at my side.
Your trusty shepherd’s crook
makes me feel secure.

5 You serve me a six-course dinner
right in front of my enemies.
You revive my drooping head;
my cup brims with blessing.

6 Your beauty and love chase after me
every day of my life.
I’m back home in the house of God
for the rest of my life.” (MSG)

I will lie down in peace and sleep for thou, oh Lord, will keep me safe… .Peace.

Exercising is of the Devil!

So, I’m only writing this blog to get “happy darn wednesday” off the top of my screen. But, my excruciating and traumatic work-out experience this evening has robbed me of the energy to blog twice. So, if you enjoy hearing of my great sufferings, check out The Real Staff Wives of Orange County. Peace.