Monthly Archive for November, 2007Page 2 of 9

One More Time…

I woke up thinking about forgiveness…or rather, my dreams reminded me of things I need to forgive…again. Dreams are funny like that - just when you think you’ve dealt with something, dreams have a way of unearthing the stuff you’ve just kind of buried.

Some people say that it’s easier to forgive than to forget, but I often feel like I can forget things…or at least put them out of my consciousness - like they never existed. But then, something will bring them back to the surface. At that point, my tendency is to just bury it again - it kind of sounds spiritual, like I’m choosing to “remember no more” the offenses against me. The problem is that burying it - putting it out of my mind can often really just be not really dealing with it…not really forgiving either.

That’s what I wanted to do this morning. I wanted to so badly…just say like Scarlett O’Hara, “I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” (I got my middle name from Vivien Leigh…and more than that from Scarlett, I’m afraid…”fiddle-dee-dee”)

If I just forget it, I don’t have to feel it…or forgive it either. But, Scarlett had to face the reality and brutality of war eventually…and so must I.

Mark Twain writes, “Forgiveness is the fragrance that the violet sheds on the heal that has crushed it.”

That doesn’t sound very strong. But, being “crushed” is not where the strength lies. It lies in the “fragrance” that comes after the crushing - that’s the choice…that’s where the discipline is required.

Luke says:

“I tell you, her sins—and they are many—have been forgiven, so she has shown me much love. But a person who is forgiven little shows only little love.” (Luke 7:47)

That’s me - the one who has been forgiven over and over. So, what can I do except to do the same. Love demands it. How I forgive isn’t based on my feelings for the other person, but rather on my love for my Savior…

So, this is my journey today.

I’m unpacking Christmas boxes, and thinking about how things have changed over all the years that I’ve been unpacking these boxes…and how much I’ve changed, too.

I just need to remember that the fragrance of the violet is a reflection of the One who created it…it doesn’t have to reflect the unkindness of the one who crushes it.

A while back I wrote that “peacefulness is more beautiful than beauty that’s not at peace”…

Some things are easier to think than to do. But, the struggle will lead me home...

Peace.

Published
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angiebledsoe
on November 27, 2007
in life, life lessons, quotes and random
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The Remains of the Day

Being back among the beautiful faces of C3 was…well, beautiful.

So many faces…new faces. So many stories. So much change has taken place in so many lives…in mine too.

This morning I was reminded of how much I am blessed - how others should be more of my focus - how God has blessed me to be a blessing. We say things like that a lot in church…but, this morning, it really sank in - how rich we are here in America.

Did you know that hunger could be eradicated in the world just by the amount of money Americans spend each year on ice cream! I guess, in my case, that would be better related to how much I spend on coffee…

It’s not just about not being selfish - but also about contentment. Am I content with what God has given me? Do I always have to have more? What about the millions of people who don’t have a fraction of what I discard as too worn or out of date.

At C3, we desire for God to change us…break us, if necessary - cause us to be aware of the needs around us. We desire to be a generous people who don’t just walk on by…

So, we’re changing, growing and asking God to use us to make a difference.

It was a powerful morning. I saw so many new faces - saw old friends who lift me up - was reminded that everyone has a story…there are so many needs - there is so much more to do. And so many more “miles to go before we sleep”.

I pray for strength - for courage. The better the Sunday, many times, the more difficult the Sunday afternoon or evening. The Enemy sends discouragements…

So, I pray for all that God provides for the journey. There’s strength enough for the “promises and miles”. There’s courage enough to face…whatever comes across my path. The struggle will lead me home…

Contentment, selflessness, strength, courage…faith - these are the things that I need more of - not more stuff.

A few months ago I posted some quotes that encouraged me. I reread them again tonight. I needed to remember…

“Who will tell whether one happy moment of love or the joy of breathing or walking on a bright morning and smelling the fresh air, is not worth all the suffering and effort which life implies.”- Erich Fromm

“What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.”- Saint Augustine

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” - Helen Keller

These are the things I need to remember. These are my goals. So, I fix my eyes once again, gather my courage, and thank God for the journey.

There’s so much more to fight for…and tomorrow is another day to witness that: Love Wins!

It does, you know.

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on November 25, 2007
in church, faith, hope, life, love, social issues and sunday
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Homecoming Postscript:

…so we’re finally home.

and the dogs are so happy to see us.

and my mom stocked my fridge with fresh milk and breakfast foods.

and there was a huge box by the front door!!!

so now i’m already washing laundry, checking on my plants, back on my own laptop (no wifi in texas), and…

i now have…A RUBY RED FAINTING COUCH!

and all is right in my little corner of the world.

Now to sleep and dream (of a ruby red fainting couch…). Peace.

Published
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angiebledsoe
on November 24, 2007
in family, life and random
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Going Home…

…so we’re on our way home. We’re taking the scenic route, so it will probably take all day.

The white sand dunes in Destin are gorgeous. If you listen to Christmas music while driving past them, it seems like the white sand could be snow…if you use your imagination.

Now the kids are watching “Toy Story”, and we’re eating gas station fast-food - I’m dreaming of spinach salad and salmon…

We’ve passed some cars with Christmas trees on top - so, of course, this increases the “ticking” of the decoration time-clock that’s ticking away in my head…so much to do - but at least it’s fun to do it.

We have discovered something about ourselves as a family: we all would love to live on some acreage and have some farm animals. Ethan wants a little donkey (we saw some adorable ones in Texas - pics will follow soon); Nate wants a lamb; Ashley wants a horse, of course; Kayleigh…well, she mentioned putting a dolphin in our salt-water pool - then, she decided she wants a pig named “Wilbur”; Byron wants a buffalo (saw those in Texas too); and I want some fancy hens and roosters…and baby chicks…and maybe a cow named “Betsy”.

I don’t think our neighborhood would think of us too fondly if we had any of these as pets, but it’s fun to dream. I grew up in Kissimmee next to a dairy farm, so I’ve always loved these kinds of animals. Of course, the idea of them can be much more romantic than the work that comes along with them, so…we’ll see.

I wonder if you can keep a rooster in your house without the neighbors finding out…probably not. Martha Stewart has roosters…

Anyway, so we’re on our way home.

It really is a scenic route. If I see a Christmas tree farm, maybe we can “kill two birds” and go ahead and take one home…Byron says the many hours of wind would kill it…oh well.

Maybe tomorrow after church.

C U @ C3! Peace out.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on November 24, 2007
in family, life and random
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