Maybe it’s just because I’m sick. Maybe it’s because I’ve slept - I mean deep, weird-dream, kind of sleep - more in the past 12 hours than I probably did all of last week. Maybe it’s because our Internet was down this morning and all that was on t.v. was “Bad Girls Club” and Jerry Springer (that’s enough to make anyone crazy!).
But, whatever it is I’m feeling agitated today. I’m thinking of things I haven’t thought about in a while - people and events that needed to be processed…worked through. I’m thinking of “friends” who plead ignorance and neutrality when there was nothing about my life that allowed for either - and my true friends had to decide if I really mattered to them…no matter what. of course, very few did - but at least I found out who I could count on.
Maybe it’s why I’m sick - my body, my mind is saying that there are still things I’m refusing to confront and deal with. Or maybe I’m just worn out and tired of thinking of all of it to begin with. I don’t really know, but whatever the deal is, I’m thinking a lot today - and most of it is not too fun.
So, I’ll do this today, but tomorrow I’ll think only happy, healthy thoughts…
and I’ll plan for the time when I can get back on my feet and hang out with my friends.
Isn’t it a gift that I know exactly who they are? I think so.
I know so.
Peace.
I just finished writing my blog before I read yours. I still flashback to who I thought would still be in my life now. It makes me sad. Renewal is such a constant process. Even after I’ve forgiven I still mourn the loss of some relationships in my life. The mourning comes for me when I still love someone and yet I know it will never be the way it was. I love you and I am so grateful for your heart and obedience… even when it hurts. Thank you for being “roots” for me. We all need them.
I am going to plan a Leu Gardens day when you get better!
Thanks, guys - you are aloe friends, you know. Leu Gardens would be delightful - and we need to do Fusian again, Andrea…I want to see Leigh Ann eat sushi! Love y’all.
That will be the day! I guess I should grow up and bite into it! Jeff would be so proud!!!!!