Since I posted this, I’ve had some interesting comments.  Everyone has an opinion.  The most…well, funny was a link to this post (evidently some “bloggers” don’t really blog, but rather just critique everyone else’s thoughts…kind of like a parasite blogger, but I digress…) - so this individual linked to this post and labeled me, the writer, as “Wayward Fundamentalist.“  I’ve been labeled a lot of things, but never that (that I know of).  Oh well, if I have to be called an  “…ist” - which is basically a suffix for a man-made thought process anyway - at least they preceded it with “wayward”…I’m okay with that.  It doesn’t sound very “good”, but it definitely has an “undignified” ring to it.  Peace.

I found my “old Bible” the other day.

I’ve had my new one for several years now, but it hasn’t ever really replaced my old one.

It was so “broken in”, so familiar, so colorful with all my underlinings, exclamation points and notes in the margins.

I got the new one because it was more “respectable”, not falling apart, not missing pages and covered in coffee rings and other such scars. It’s a honkin’ study Bible that contains all the “experts” thoughts about what the verses mean…and what they should mean to me. It’s beautiful…and clean.

As I looked through my old Bible last night, I was struck by a couple of things. First, I had no idea, nor did I care, that the highlighters and markers would bleed through to the other side, making it harder to read. I had no thought of being careful and respectful with it - not realizing that “post-it notes” placed on the edges would cause the pages to tear. I wasn’t mindful of how bad the cover was beginning to look because of my coffee, etc. And, also, I was struck by the passion in my notes, underlinings and highlightings. There are notes on everything - Even in the book of Amos! I don’t even remember reading Amos!

The Psalms and Proverbs were the hardest hit. They were read and reread, and cross-referenced with other Psalms and Proverbs I had found that speak to the same issues.

In my new Bible someone else has taken care of that for me. All the messy work is done. All the cross-referencing and explanation provided. It’s all neat and packaged - no need for my chicken scratch.

It seems that somewhere along the way I became a lot more civilized. My questions seem to be all answered - no need to search and dig…no need for a passionate multi-colored pursuit.

The neatness of my new Bible, although used (just not in the same way) made me think. It’s so respectable, so dignified, so…sad.

So, I think I’ll lay my new Bible aside for a while, and refer to it when I just can’t figure something out (or I come to a page that’s…not there!), and use the old one.

I need to remember what it felt like to just read passionately - devouring The Words because nothing else gives me hope.

I need to stop trying to be “good” - I gave up on that a long time ago, anyway. After all, my old Bible is more “me” - It’s overdone, insanely multi-colored, missing pages, full of scars, and well-worn in the journey. But, it also represents something that the most respectable looking Bibles don’t automatically provide: passion.

I think I’ll go smooth out some of the pages…but not too much!

Peace.