Archive for the 'church' Category

To be or not to…..(you know how it goes)

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This morning, I heard myself tell someone that I’m “41″.

The words just rolled off my tongue - as if I were not saying, “Hello, I’m now 41, and I don’t know how I got to be in my 40’s when I feel like I should just be beginning my 20’s most days….”

Of course, there are many other days when I feel the passage of time like feathers on the wind that I can’t retrieve fast enough…and it would be pointless to try.

It’s hard being a woman in your 40’s - but, it’s made somewhat easier since the road to becoming a woman in her 40’s is quite trying - requiring the acquisition of a tough mind….and even tougher skin.  I guess I should say, it’s a hard journey to get there…and then once you arrive, you are rarely complimented for enduring the joys and trials that, most often, show up like a road map on your face.

For a man that’s called character. The world is not so kind to us women.  But, all of these things make us better, I suppose…preparing us for the days to come.

All of these things didn’t go through my head in that moment when I first spoke the words “41″ this morning, in relation to how long I’ve now been alive.  But, the thoughts are there, nonetheless.

Or, better still, they’re there…..in the “road map” on my face.

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As I walked away and went to get on stage to sing with some very talented…..teens & twenty-somethings, I thought about which I’d rather be….

a butterfly or a moth.

Of course, the butterfly is so beautiful to look at, so often photographed and even captured and placed in a frame to show off its colors.  The moth, not so much…..it just plugs along - doing what it does.

I guess I’ve kind of always been pulled between these polar ends:  the beautiful and the practical - one so often overlooked, and one so often mishandled and desired as a trophy….

Both paths are hard.  Both have their downsides.

I guess that’s why I took both of these pictures in the mountains on a morning after the rain had past.  They were both so beautiful in their own way.  They both caught my eye.  And it was as if nature was reminding me:  Don’t worry about which you are, just be……just fly and forget about the rest.

So, I walked into the theater to sing 4 sets (feeling more like a moth than ever), and I just decided to just “be” - to fly….and forget about the rest.

I am 41, after all.  So I can fly displaying whatever colors I want!

…….and just forget about the rest.

Peace.

Seeing the Sunset….

So, I’ve been “down” again….this has been my personal “code” for when my immune system experiences a glitch and I run a weird fever….feel fatigued, glands get swollen - yeah, I know, it’s like I’m 16 again and have come down with Mono from drinking hot chocolate after the wrong classmate…..(Seriously, that really happened!!)

Don’t worry, people who may come into contact with me:  I’m not contagious - well, except to myself….but, when I’m like this it’s like my body just says, “Anyone have any infections and/or viruses to share?  Anyone?  Anyone?”….

and I have FOUR KIDS IN PUBLIC SCHOOL - need I say more…..?

So, anyway, I’m “down” again…..

And I was sitting here thinking, “I would love to blog something uplifting and encouraging…but, I got nothin’”

Then, Byron received a message that said,

“Your church just fed my family this week…I plan to join you Sunday, God bless.”

Then, I received this comment from Zindia on my last blog - (This is just a portion, you can read the whole comment HERE):

“…when I see the sunset now, I think of you, Angie, and see it in a whole
different way. I see the way you look at me when I tell my story and
can not avoid feeling you are honestly caring and touched by it, EVERY
TIME. I appreciate your compassion and your kindness. Thank you for
what you and your husband are doing. Keep up the good work and don’t
let the negativity bring you down. If I can be of any inspiration to
push through it all, I hope I can. My life has been changed by this
movement
and there is a lot more to come to me and I believe sincerely
that it is because of what this movement truly is, it is for people
like me and I am proud to say it. I will continue to invite others
because I want to share in my happiness and my new life
….Peace!”

And…so, I thought I would encourage others….with my little musings…

But, instead, I had nothing to offer…just quiet…stillness….and right in the middle of that quiet:

YOU ENCOURAGED ME!

All of you.  Each one of you who:

  • Invited a neighbor…even though your days are so full and you’re so weary…still you reached out!
  • Prayed for a friend in need…or maybe someone you don’t even know that well….still you prayed!
  • Took food to a stranger…even though times are hard for you as well…still you served!
  • Shook a hand, hugged a child, changed a diaper, moved a “case” of supplies, pulled a trailer…..even though you had worked all week and Sunday is your one day off….still you worked!
  • Showed the love of God to someone seeking…desperate - even though you know you don’t have all the answers…..still you loved!

You see, I understand that I get to hear these stories of life-change…I get to receive hugs from people every Sunday who thank me for a church, a place….a movement like C3 Church….

I get to feel the love - but, I understand that it’s because of you:  your reaching, your praying, your serving, your working……..your loving!  It is because the people of C3….are so…..C3: Connecting the Community with Christ!!

And that lifted me this evening….allowed me to:

SEE THE SUNSET…. picture-106

…and I thank you all!

Peace, peace, peace….

Good Thing…

So, I know I need to blog…not just out of obligation…I really do NEED to blog.

…and I’ve had so many thoughts lately.  But, when your husband - prize “fighter”, type-A, first born…English Mastiff of the human world - says, “Oh, yeah well, maybe you should just sleep on that blog…” after you tell him your thoughts, well, you think twice!

So, here I am…thinking twice.

And, that thinking involves a lot of pondering the goodness of God…instead of pondering the stupidity of others…..it’s just that they are both so overwhelming in their abundance!! :-)

I’m so often tempted to want to defend myself…my ministry…my church….the vision of my church….our passion.  Especially when I read statements (of the somewhat negative “persuasion”) about our “style” of ministry from others…..

But, instead, I’m trying tonight to remember….yesterday.  Sometimes that’s hard for me to do on a Monday…it wouldn’t seem so, since it’s only been 24 hours…but still.

You see, yesterday:

  • I woke up before the sun to get to C3....the only day of the week that I would be excited to be up so early!
  • I was greeted at the theater our church calls home by countless volunteers who had arrived much earlier than I - already putting in hours of work by the time I strolled in with my “Starbuck” in hand…
  • I practiced with the band - songs like “The Time has Come”, “Cannons”, “Sing My Love”……and “Stronger” - none of which are vacant of the majesty and wonder of God…or the person of Jesus Christ.  (Look ‘em up!)
  • I heard Byron preach…from the Word of God - straightforward yet, applicable….and from the Old Testament!!
  • I watched as lives were changed….8 adults praying to receive Christ as their personal savior.
  • I saw little children running to go to learn about Jesus…happy….the diversity among them staggering.
  • I saw a “sea” of Black, White, Asian, Hispanic…a tapestry of colors reflected in the faces.
  • I witnessed C3 members picking up “Feed the Children” boxes to deliver to families in need - many of these members struggling themselves under the weight of these economic times.
  • I welcomed other couples into my home for “Community Group”….and heard stories that made me weep.
  • I sat across from couples who were completely “unchurched” just months ago….listening to them discuss scripture!
  • I went to bed worn out, but humbled by such a day….to be surrounded by such a people….such a church as C3.
  • I went to sleep reminded of the awesomeness of God.

And, as I focus on these things….

…as I list them out - and there are so many others from just ONE DAY….

I can’t seem to remember what I was so bent out of shape about….something about the stupidity of….I can’t recall……

Oh well, must not have been that important after all!

Isn’t God great like that?

I guess I just needed to remember…

…good thing He’s more gracious to me than I am to others at times.

Peace.

The Remains of the Day

I’ve been so pensive today.  I don’t know if I can explain why in a way that makes any sense…

It’s not unusual for me to have tons of thoughts rolling around in my head like marbles that want to play, but this time it’s a little different - It’s not random.  It’s important….urgent even for me to wrap my mind around all that I’m thinking…..

As you know, if you read this blog, I’ve been researching my family’s ancestry - on my mother’s side - for a report Nate was working on.  Of course, it began as a 5th grade project, and turned into another one of my obsessions…another thing you should know about me if you read….

So, anyway…after church, and after Byron spoke about “How a Christ-follower should vote”, I ate lunch at my parents and began talking about my “research”.

I knew my Grandmother had grown up wealthy and was “displaced” after her father dying on his way to a “work camp”…and then fleeing the from Nazi’s.

What I didn’t realize was HOW wealthy…..

…and how displaced.

My great-grandfather Emil Navratil was a very successful businessman/electrical engineer in Czechoslovakia.  His company was responsible for laying the electrical grid for their entire town, and at the time of his death was estimated to be worth millions.  His wife Johanna was…of Jewish descent. Her mother, my great, great grandmother was Polish, and the one rumored to be a Jew. To be a Czech Nationalist/Millionaire possibly married to a Jew was not a good combination if you wanted to keep your belongings during that period in history…..or your life, for that matter.

Emil was not successful in keeping either - The government seized his homes, his assets, his five bank accounts, all of his earthly possessions…and ultimately his life as he died on his way to a “camp”.  His beautiful family escaped during the night…taking nothing but a few trinkets they could hide in the seams of their undergarments as they fled - but not before my great grandmother was dragged by her hair into the square, where she stood in the sun all day pledging her “allegience” to “Meine Fuhrer”.

I knew all of this except for the fact that they had fled from Czechoslovakia and not from Germany.  For some reason, all of my life I have thought that my grandmother grew up in Germany, and when she spoke of “going home for a visit”, I thought she was returning to the place of her childhood.

That is, until today….

Today, I realized that I’m not German at all.  My family were German speaking Czechs (like Schindler in “Schindler’s List).  When she fled in the night so many years ago, she never….ever returned to the place of her birth and childhood - to Czechoslovakia.  Never.

I want to go there - The Czech Republic - so badly now.  As I was expressing this, my parents mentioned that if I did they could give me the documents so that I could see about regaining some of the bank accounts that are still there in my grandfather’s name.

Here’s where the profundity lies, for me - what I’ve been pondering all day:

My dad said, “There are untold thousands of dollars in those accounts, and if your Grandmother could prove that she is his daughter, she could eventually get them back - but she’d have to go there to do it.  She’s never been back - never, in over 50 years!

What I keep thinking:

My little grandmother - who lives on a military pension, who grew up like a princess, who loves her European roots, who pinches pennies and has worked long hours to make ends meet -

My little grandmother would rather live on a meager fixed-income than go back……

Why?

I guess the answer lies in a kind of trauma that most Americans can neither understand or relate to.  The kind of freedoms we enjoy…the things that we argue about….the times we cry for the Government to fix our problems……we can’t ever truly understand this kind of trauma.

I guess my grandmother would rather live in peace in her little world - teaching little children in Sunday School, tending to her garden, and enjoying her family - than to have lots of money……and lots of governmental control.

You see, another thing my grandmother is passionate about is politics…in her quiet way.  She volunteers at voting sites, distributes petitions, and will engage other aging “Seniors” about the dangers of believing the scare tactics that many politicians will use to get elderly people to vote for them….

She’s no push-over.  She’s seen what “Government Control” can do, and she wants no part of it.

So, I guess I was just reminded - twice today…once at church, and then at lunch - that I should never take my freedoms lightly.

I should vote…and also remember:

It wasn’t just the wealthy that were hurt by the Government so many years ago, but also:

  • millions of Jews….so many were only little children
  • millions of families of business owners who had enriched entire towns
  • the elderly
  • the unborn
  • the infirm
  • the outspoken
  • the poet, the writer, the thinker……the dreamer
  • the Christian - true Christ-follower who became a “Hiding Place” for others

If we see ourselves in that list…or see anyone that we love, maybe it’s time to stop desiring for the Government to take from others to solve our problems.  Maybe it’s time to stop taking our freedoms for granted.  Maybe it’s time to vote with our heart and conscience..rather than just our wallet - or even out of protest.  Every time we take a freedom from someone else so that we can feel better ( like allowing millions of babies to be murdered and calling it “choice”) - every time we exchange someone else’s freedom for our own comfort…or out of our own fear, we lose a little more freedom ourselves.

I guess we never think a country like America could end up like Czechoslovakia….

But, I don’t think any country has ever really thought it could happen to them.

On November 4th, please vote. Please consider your faith and your conscience as you do.

I know I, and my little grandmother, will!

R.I.P. My sweet Oma…

My Oma and Kael

My Oma and Kael

Peace.