Archive for the 'life lessons' CategoryPage 3 of 17

The Remains of the Day…

We sang a song today…

I know I’m not the first to mention this song in a blog…not even the first in my “toolbar” of blogs.  Josh and Alison speak of it ….and I’ve been moved, of course, by it’s poetic lyrics and power….“How He loves…”

It’s no secret that I’ve been in a dry spell lately with my blog, but Byron mentioned in his message this morning - “God always brakes the silence with Jesus”…so, I suppose I should do no less.

“He is jealous for me - loves like a hurricane…I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His love and mercy…”

I’ve listened and I’ve sung.  I’ve worshipped  and led in worship absorbing myself in words that others have written…even while knowing they could have come from my own soul.  I’ve wanted to sing of God’s love for us…knowing it’s true - yet often feeling like the Psalmist crying out, “My God, why have You forsaken me…”

“…all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me…”

These “afflictions”…what afflictions?

…to the casual observer that may be the question - “What afflictions?”

God has blessed me…I know this - 4 beautiful and uniquely wonderful children who love God and others, a great marriage, a lovely home…great church, great ministry…

…and yet my afflictions are often so close to me…so visceral, that I feel them with each breath…

I have been paralyzed by my personal struggles…asking God - like Paul - “remove this please…”, yet He seems silent.

“…so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest…
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way…
He loves us…”

I don’t have time for regrets, I know this…but, still the struggle remains in my self-centeredness….

Last night as I listened to the music set for this morning, as I do every Saturday night…I struggled with every word of this song - for some reason…feeling like I was wrestling…fighting…sinking…

Then, the final words sunk into me - words that weren’t even going to be sung this morning, so I almost didn’t hear them….but, I did hear them…and I wept under the weight of them:

“Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
…They want to tell me You’re cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he’d say it’s not true, ’cause…He loves us.”

Then, I got up and sang from my soul…with all of my questions and struggles…I just sang.

…and I listened.  And God did what He does….

He broke through the deafening silence…with Jesus.

…and that’s enough - enough for this day.

Peace.


Maybe it’s too late…

…God help us if it is:

“From each according to his abilities, to each according to his needs. Karl Marx

Please think.

Please look at history.

Please don’t be ignorant.

Research what’s happening in Argentina right now….and what is being discussed, here in America, right now as it relates to seizing private pension funds.

We may be angry at those who are wealthier than we are, but if the government can seize someone else’s private pension fund….whose to say they won’t seize yours as well.

Think about it……..

We can’t afford to be ignorant.

Peace.

The Remains of the Day

I’ve been so pensive today.  I don’t know if I can explain why in a way that makes any sense…

It’s not unusual for me to have tons of thoughts rolling around in my head like marbles that want to play, but this time it’s a little different - It’s not random.  It’s important….urgent even for me to wrap my mind around all that I’m thinking…..

As you know, if you read this blog, I’ve been researching my family’s ancestry - on my mother’s side - for a report Nate was working on.  Of course, it began as a 5th grade project, and turned into another one of my obsessions…another thing you should know about me if you read….

So, anyway…after church, and after Byron spoke about “How a Christ-follower should vote”, I ate lunch at my parents and began talking about my “research”.

I knew my Grandmother had grown up wealthy and was “displaced” after her father dying on his way to a “work camp”…and then fleeing the from Nazi’s.

What I didn’t realize was HOW wealthy…..

…and how displaced.

My great-grandfather Emil Navratil was a very successful businessman/electrical engineer in Czechoslovakia.  His company was responsible for laying the electrical grid for their entire town, and at the time of his death was estimated to be worth millions.  His wife Johanna was…of Jewish descent. Her mother, my great, great grandmother was Polish, and the one rumored to be a Jew. To be a Czech Nationalist/Millionaire possibly married to a Jew was not a good combination if you wanted to keep your belongings during that period in history…..or your life, for that matter.

Emil was not successful in keeping either - The government seized his homes, his assets, his five bank accounts, all of his earthly possessions…and ultimately his life as he died on his way to a “camp”.  His beautiful family escaped during the night…taking nothing but a few trinkets they could hide in the seams of their undergarments as they fled - but not before my great grandmother was dragged by her hair into the square, where she stood in the sun all day pledging her “allegience” to “Meine Fuhrer”.

I knew all of this except for the fact that they had fled from Czechoslovakia and not from Germany.  For some reason, all of my life I have thought that my grandmother grew up in Germany, and when she spoke of “going home for a visit”, I thought she was returning to the place of her childhood.

That is, until today….

Today, I realized that I’m not German at all.  My family were German speaking Czechs (like Schindler in “Schindler’s List).  When she fled in the night so many years ago, she never….ever returned to the place of her birth and childhood - to Czechoslovakia.  Never.

I want to go there - The Czech Republic - so badly now.  As I was expressing this, my parents mentioned that if I did they could give me the documents so that I could see about regaining some of the bank accounts that are still there in my grandfather’s name.

Here’s where the profundity lies, for me - what I’ve been pondering all day:

My dad said, “There are untold thousands of dollars in those accounts, and if your Grandmother could prove that she is his daughter, she could eventually get them back - but she’d have to go there to do it.  She’s never been back - never, in over 50 years!

What I keep thinking:

My little grandmother - who lives on a military pension, who grew up like a princess, who loves her European roots, who pinches pennies and has worked long hours to make ends meet -

My little grandmother would rather live on a meager fixed-income than go back……

Why?

I guess the answer lies in a kind of trauma that most Americans can neither understand or relate to.  The kind of freedoms we enjoy…the things that we argue about….the times we cry for the Government to fix our problems……we can’t ever truly understand this kind of trauma.

I guess my grandmother would rather live in peace in her little world - teaching little children in Sunday School, tending to her garden, and enjoying her family - than to have lots of money……and lots of governmental control.

You see, another thing my grandmother is passionate about is politics…in her quiet way.  She volunteers at voting sites, distributes petitions, and will engage other aging “Seniors” about the dangers of believing the scare tactics that many politicians will use to get elderly people to vote for them….

She’s no push-over.  She’s seen what “Government Control” can do, and she wants no part of it.

So, I guess I was just reminded - twice today…once at church, and then at lunch - that I should never take my freedoms lightly.

I should vote…and also remember:

It wasn’t just the wealthy that were hurt by the Government so many years ago, but also:

  • millions of Jews….so many were only little children
  • millions of families of business owners who had enriched entire towns
  • the elderly
  • the unborn
  • the infirm
  • the outspoken
  • the poet, the writer, the thinker……the dreamer
  • the Christian - true Christ-follower who became a “Hiding Place” for others

If we see ourselves in that list…or see anyone that we love, maybe it’s time to stop desiring for the Government to take from others to solve our problems.  Maybe it’s time to stop taking our freedoms for granted.  Maybe it’s time to vote with our heart and conscience..rather than just our wallet - or even out of protest.  Every time we take a freedom from someone else so that we can feel better ( like allowing millions of babies to be murdered and calling it “choice”) - every time we exchange someone else’s freedom for our own comfort…or out of our own fear, we lose a little more freedom ourselves.

I guess we never think a country like America could end up like Czechoslovakia….

But, I don’t think any country has ever really thought it could happen to them.

On November 4th, please vote. Please consider your faith and your conscience as you do.

I know I, and my little grandmother, will!

R.I.P. My sweet Oma…

My Oma and Kael

My Oma and Kael

Peace.

Knowing Him Best…

So, last week this was on mind mind.  Today I’ve been thinking about another important (as I see it) part of marriage…

As a mother, I pride myself in knowing my children.  I feel like I know them better than anyone else…maybe even better than they know themselves - especially when they’re young.  But, as they grow, I realize the day will come when there will be another who will know them like no one else:  the one they will share their life with…their soul mate.

Now, as a wife, I take the same pride in knowing my husband better than anyone else does.  It should be one of my top priorities.

There should be no one - no woman at work, friend from childhood, or even family member -  that knows him, really knows him…down deep, the way that I know him.

I need to know him - inside and out - what really makes him tick…his dreams, his fears, his strongest strengths and weakest weaknesses….

…there should be no one else who can be to him what I can be - because I know him like no one else on earth.

But, this process takes time.  It also takes a whole lot of effort and trust.  He must feel safe that he can be real with me - with no harsh criticism or fear of my using his transparency against him.  It’s hard to “know him” if I don’t put him first.

So, try something a little different tonight - we, as women, have a whole lot of words…way more than men have - let’s try to use those words to:  ask questions, listen to his answers, speak encouragingly, praise…praise…praise, and make him know that he can do and be anything he puts his mind to.

Women love to change men - we’re wired to want to do this.  But, most men don’t want to be changed - they just want to be the best they can be - and love, encouragement, and support are how they get there.

We have so much power, as women…so much influence - God has gifted us with this.  We just need to know how to use it to empower the men in our lives.

After all, if I don’t know my soul mate….who will?

Peace.