Archive for the 'music' Category

Let Them Go Down

I woke up hearing this song playing in our bathroom.

It got my attention - I don’t even know why…

…and then, when I went to YouTube to watch ole Faith sing it as only she can, I noticed her glancing at the monitors……probably a teleprompter of the words.

I recognized it because I’ve done it a million times - even when I’m singing a song I know like the back of my hand - still….

….sometimes I glance down - like I’m looking for something more than just words - like I’m searching for a friendly face or something to reassure me.

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But, of course, then the lights do go down -and I make my way back to my seat.

Sometimes it feels too soon.

Other times it’s a relief.

I know there’s a difference (and way more than one, mind you) between Faith and me -

She sings...wow, does she ever sing!

I worship.

So, when the lights go down, I’m okay with being on the other side - in the darkness.  I’m okay with being left to my own thoughts…..my own worship - with no one critiquing my performance or thinking “who let her go out of the house like that!!??”

Some say it’s lonely there, after the lights.  I think it can be way lonelier when you’re being blinded by their harshness (may be why I close my eyes so much). It’s softer and cooler on the other side of the lights.

So, let them go on down…….

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Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on July 31, 2009
in life and music
. 0 Comments

The Remains of the Day…

We sang a song today…

I know I’m not the first to mention this song in a blog…not even the first in my “toolbar” of blogs.  Josh and Alison speak of it ….and I’ve been moved, of course, by it’s poetic lyrics and power….“How He loves…”

It’s no secret that I’ve been in a dry spell lately with my blog, but Byron mentioned in his message this morning - “God always brakes the silence with Jesus”…so, I suppose I should do no less.

“He is jealous for me - loves like a hurricane…I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His love and mercy…”

I’ve listened and I’ve sung.  I’ve worshipped  and led in worship absorbing myself in words that others have written…even while knowing they could have come from my own soul.  I’ve wanted to sing of God’s love for us…knowing it’s true - yet often feeling like the Psalmist crying out, “My God, why have You forsaken me…”

“…all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory…
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me…”

These “afflictions”…what afflictions?

…to the casual observer that may be the question - “What afflictions?”

God has blessed me…I know this - 4 beautiful and uniquely wonderful children who love God and others, a great marriage, a lovely home…great church, great ministry…

…and yet my afflictions are often so close to me…so visceral, that I feel them with each breath…

I have been paralyzed by my personal struggles…asking God - like Paul - “remove this please…”, yet He seems silent.

“…so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest…
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way…
He loves us…”

I don’t have time for regrets, I know this…but, still the struggle remains in my self-centeredness….

Last night as I listened to the music set for this morning, as I do every Saturday night…I struggled with every word of this song - for some reason…feeling like I was wrestling…fighting…sinking…

Then, the final words sunk into me - words that weren’t even going to be sung this morning, so I almost didn’t hear them….but, I did hear them…and I wept under the weight of them:

“Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
…They want to tell me You’re cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he’d say it’s not true, ’cause…He loves us.”

Then, I got up and sang from my soul…with all of my questions and struggles…I just sang.

…and I listened.  And God did what He does….

He broke through the deafening silence…with Jesus.

…and that’s enough - enough for this day.

Peace.


Published
by
angiebledsoe
on March 15, 2009
in Uncategorized, life lessons, music and sunday
. 6 Comments

The Remains of the Day

The sun is not quite going down yet, but I think I wouldn’t mind if it were.  I’m just a little weary today - sleep hasn’t been a friend the past few nights….I have always had a fickle relationship with sleep as it is.

This morning was good - the music was a little more low-key - we even did a personal favorite “Came to the Rescue”…and it was nice to hear the people singing praises.  That always lifts me!

We sang a new song, too - and it really spoke to me…to my soul:

“Love is Here” (Tenth Avenue North):

“Come to the water
You who thirst
And you’ll thirst no more
Come to the father
You who work
And you’ll work no more

And all you who labor in vain
And to the broken and shamed

Love is here
Love is now
Love is pouring from His hands
From His brow
Love is near
It satisfies
Streams of mercy flowing from His side
‘Cause love is here

Come to the treasure
You who search
And you’ll search no more
Come to the lover
You who want
And you’ll want no more, no

And all you who labor in vain
And to the broken and shamed

And to the bruised and fallen - captives bound and broken-hearted

He is the Lord
He is the Lord
By his stripes
He’s paid our ransom
From His wounds we drink salvation
He is the Lord
He is the Lord.

Love is here……”

I needed this encouragement this morning in my weariness…I guess we all need to be reminded of where love lies.

It was a good day…now I’m ready for a good night (maybe sleep will be my friend again…maybe).

Peace to you all.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on October 12, 2008
in church, faith, life, love, music and sunday
. 3 Comments

The Remains of the Day…

It was nice to be back at home at C3…

I’m ready to just be “at home” for a little while.  This morning was good.  Byron spoke about forgiveness…which is also what I heard last Sunday in Nashville - I guess I’ve got some work to do in that area (Ya think?!).  It’s definitely a daily struggle, at times.

I sang, “None but Jesus“, and for some reason find it hard to sing that particular song…it’s a bad key for me or something…

But, this morning - especially in the second service - I could hear the people singing along with me (sometimes that’s hard to do in the theaters… the acoustics seem to throw sound the other direction), anyway, I could hear the song of the people and it lifted me somehow…gave me strength to sing a song that my heart loves, but my voice…not so much.

It’s amazing how the energy in the room affects me.  I’ve been totally deflated by the room when it’s “cold” and unresponsive, no matter how the music turns out - but, I can be so lifted by feeling the Spirit and knowing people are with me as I worship…even if I’m having a bad day.

My back held out through both services, so that was great.  Then, after lunch, I got a short - but deep - nap…one of those where you aren’t sure where you are when you wake up….and no migraines yet today.  So, all in all - it’s been a banner Sunday.

It was just great to be back with my peeps again…it’s always good to come home.

C3 is for me….

Thanks to all of you who “invest and invite” to make it all possible…you’ll never know what your sacrifices mean. :-)

Peace to you all.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on September 21, 2008
in church, faith, forgiveness, life, music and sunday
. 2 Comments