….adding insult to injury!!
Workout Fuel from C3 Church on Vimeo.
Peace.
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I woke this morning from a dead-sleep weeping…inconsolably. It freaked Byron out quite a bit, although he should be quite used to my idiosyncrasies by now.
You see, apparently, I was dreaming - I was in my sweet Oma’s kitchen and she said, “Angie have some more ‘mah-cah-rrroni’”. I laughed and said, “I’m too full….you know my birthday’s coming up and I’m feeling so old.” She was the one to laugh then, and said, “I know, I only wish I had left you a card before I had to go away…”
Then, I just said, “Please, please don’t go….”
But, I woke up - and was crying because I knew she had gone.
I also seem to be struggling with the fact that never again will I be….thirty-something. And, like my Oma’s passing, it just seems so final.
I was flipping through a magazine, trying to pass the time during Sugar-Boy’s morning “time out” - and I saw a fashion section that had 2 categories:
- 20’s and 30’s - which was full of fun and hip trends…
- 40’s …and beyond. - which was …..everything else.
….so, I guess that’s how I’m feeling today…..like the catch-all “everything else” category….
Anyway…
So I painted my fingernails navy blue.
I feel a little better now as I watch my “way-too-dark-for-my-age” nails type on my new MacBook Pro…..
Yes, that’s my birthday present. A spankin’ new “hoss” of a machine - with a hot pink cover, of course.
It’s gorgeous.
But, still….the keys feel different under my unusually dark nails….very unfamiliar - even though I’ve transferred everything including my zebra cling to the outside cover.
Still….
I guess I’m just not aging as gracefully as I had planned to.
I’m actually feeling quite rebellious at this point.
…….and so…….
my nails are blue!
Peace.
…because I just needed to see these:
and these:
and this little guy:
and this peaceful path:
and my moody Florida sky:
Sometimes I just need to see some beautiful things…..
After all:
“The sky is the daily bread of the eyes.” - Ralph Waldo Emerson
So, don’t go to bed hungry!
Peace.
So, we’re finally…..finally home.
I know some of you must think that all we’ve done this summer is travel….and “vacation”….
…and you would be right - in a way. But, honestly, it’s just about done me in.
I’m sitting here on this Saturday morning - our “buffer day” between driving all day yesterday and C3 tomorrow - and I’m thinking of all the things I need to be doing to…get back to real life. And all I feel up to doing is just sitting here.
The ironic thing is that when we discussed our “summer plans”, we decided to spend some time at a local beach - to NOT travel so that we didn’t wear ourselves out like we’ve done in years past - and also so we could be nearby…so we would only miss one Sunday.
Then came the “very last Bledsoe reunion” - in Texas….21 hours away. So, we took the kids out of school a day early and made a whirlwind trip…..there and back in 5 days.
And that seemed to set the tone for the summer……
Then the beach - where we entertained most of our time there - wanting to get the most out of our gorgeous surroundings…staying up way too late, then always awakening with the sun (even if we didn’t make it all the way down to the water’s edge…still we were awake).
Then, because of the passing of my sweet Oma, we felt we really should go visit my dad’s mother, my “Mimi”, in North Carolina….before school begins again….before things get too hectic…..
So, another whirlwind trip - and because of the beauty of the mountains there, again, we wanted to squeeze every drop out of every day - see everything….not miss a moment…..we can rest later……
….so I guess now is “later”. At least my body and mind are screaming that it’s much, much….”later”.
I’ve tried my best to be an open book - to document every thing with photographs, twitter, Facebook updates….and recently even video. And I’ve loved it……at least the Sanguine half of me has ADORED IT.
But, then there’s the other half….the quiet, melancholy…intensely private half of me. It’s not so thrilled…
It’s had enough, I think.
So maybe I need a little “vacation” from all my vacationing…..just a little quiet internal break. No lights, no cameras, no plans…..no adventures.
Maybe just a little stillness.
I’m not sure how to accomplish that….with four kids and three dogs….
But, I think today…at least for today - I’m going to try.
And, I’m not going to take a single video of myself in my attempt……. 
Peace to you all.
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