Archive for the 'sunday' Category

Good Thing…

So, I know I need to blog…not just out of obligation…I really do NEED to blog.

…and I’ve had so many thoughts lately.  But, when your husband - prize “fighter”, type-A, first born…English Mastiff of the human world - says, “Oh, yeah well, maybe you should just sleep on that blog…” after you tell him your thoughts, well, you think twice!

So, here I am…thinking twice.

And, that thinking involves a lot of pondering the goodness of God…instead of pondering the stupidity of others…..it’s just that they are both so overwhelming in their abundance!! :-)

I’m so often tempted to want to defend myself…my ministry…my church….the vision of my church….our passion.  Especially when I read statements (of the somewhat negative “persuasion”) about our “style” of ministry from others…..

But, instead, I’m trying tonight to remember….yesterday.  Sometimes that’s hard for me to do on a Monday…it wouldn’t seem so, since it’s only been 24 hours…but still.

You see, yesterday:

  • I woke up before the sun to get to C3....the only day of the week that I would be excited to be up so early!
  • I was greeted at the theater our church calls home by countless volunteers who had arrived much earlier than I - already putting in hours of work by the time I strolled in with my “Starbuck” in hand…
  • I practiced with the band - songs like “The Time has Come”, “Cannons”, “Sing My Love”……and “Stronger” - none of which are vacant of the majesty and wonder of God…or the person of Jesus Christ.  (Look ‘em up!)
  • I heard Byron preach…from the Word of God - straightforward yet, applicable….and from the Old Testament!!
  • I watched as lives were changed….8 adults praying to receive Christ as their personal savior.
  • I saw little children running to go to learn about Jesus…happy….the diversity among them staggering.
  • I saw a “sea” of Black, White, Asian, Hispanic…a tapestry of colors reflected in the faces.
  • I witnessed C3 members picking up “Feed the Children” boxes to deliver to families in need - many of these members struggling themselves under the weight of these economic times.
  • I welcomed other couples into my home for “Community Group”….and heard stories that made me weep.
  • I sat across from couples who were completely “unchurched” just months ago….listening to them discuss scripture!
  • I went to bed worn out, but humbled by such a day….to be surrounded by such a people….such a church as C3.
  • I went to sleep reminded of the awesomeness of God.

And, as I focus on these things….

…as I list them out - and there are so many others from just ONE DAY….

I can’t seem to remember what I was so bent out of shape about….something about the stupidity of….I can’t recall……

Oh well, must not have been that important after all!

Isn’t God great like that?

I guess I just needed to remember…

…good thing He’s more gracious to me than I am to others at times.

Peace.

The Remains of the Day…

We sang a song today…

I know I’m not the first to mention this song in a blog…not even the first in my “toolbar” of blogs.  Josh and Alison speak of it ….and I’ve been moved, of course, by it’s poetic lyrics and power….“How He loves…”

It’s no secret that I’ve been in a dry spell lately with my blog, but Byron mentioned in his message this morning - “God always brakes the silence with Jesus”…so, I suppose I should do no less.

“He is jealous for me - loves like a hurricane…I am a tree bending beneath the weight of His love and mercy…”

I’ve listened and I’ve sung.  I’ve worshipped  and led in worship absorbing myself in words that others have written…even while knowing they could have come from my own soul.  I’ve wanted to sing of God’s love for us…knowing it’s true - yet often feeling like the Psalmist crying out, “My God, why have You forsaken me…”

“…all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory
and I realize just how beautiful You are and how great Your affections are for me…”

These “afflictions”…what afflictions?

…to the casual observer that may be the question - “What afflictions?”

God has blessed me…I know this - 4 beautiful and uniquely wonderful children who love God and others, a great marriage, a lovely home…great church, great ministry…

…and yet my afflictions are often so close to me…so visceral, that I feel them with each breath…

I have been paralyzed by my personal struggles…asking God - like Paul - “remove this please…”, yet He seems silent.

“…so heaven meets earth like a sloppy wet kiss
and my heart turns violently inside of my chest…
I don’t have time to maintain these regrets when I think about the way…
He loves us…”

I don’t have time for regrets, I know this…but, still the struggle remains in my self-centeredness….

Last night as I listened to the music set for this morning, as I do every Saturday night…I struggled with every word of this song - for some reason…feeling like I was wrestling…fighting…sinking…

Then, the final words sunk into me - words that weren’t even going to be sung this morning, so I almost didn’t hear them….but, I did hear them…and I wept under the weight of them:

“Well, I thought about You the day Stephen died,
And You met me between my breaking.
I know that I still love You, God, despite the agony.
…They want to tell me You’re cruel,
But if Stephen could sing, he’d say it’s not true, ’cause…He loves us.”

Then, I got up and sang from my soul…with all of my questions and struggles…I just sang.

…and I listened.  And God did what He does….

He broke through the deafening silence…with Jesus.

…and that’s enough - enough for this day.

Peace.


The Remains of the Day

I’ve been so pensive today.  I don’t know if I can explain why in a way that makes any sense…

It’s not unusual for me to have tons of thoughts rolling around in my head like marbles that want to play, but this time it’s a little different - It’s not random.  It’s important….urgent even for me to wrap my mind around all that I’m thinking…..

As you know, if you read this blog, I’ve been researching my family’s ancestry - on my mother’s side - for a report Nate was working on.  Of course, it began as a 5th grade project, and turned into another one of my obsessions…another thing you should know about me if you read….

So, anyway…after church, and after Byron spoke about “How a Christ-follower should vote”, I ate lunch at my parents and began talking about my “research”.

I knew my Grandmother had grown up wealthy and was “displaced” after her father dying on his way to a “work camp”…and then fleeing the from Nazi’s.

What I didn’t realize was HOW wealthy…..

…and how displaced.

My great-grandfather Emil Navratil was a very successful businessman/electrical engineer in Czechoslovakia.  His company was responsible for laying the electrical grid for their entire town, and at the time of his death was estimated to be worth millions.  His wife Johanna was Polish…and a Jew. To be a Czech Nationalist/Millionaire married to a Jew was not a good combination if you wanted to keep your belongings during that period in history…..or your life, for that matter.

Emil was not successful in keeping either - The government seized his homes, his assets, his five bank accounts, all of his earthly possessions…and ultimately his life as he died on his way to a “camp”.  His beautiful family escaped during the night…taking nothing but a few trinkets they could hide in the seams of their undergarments as they fled.

I knew all of this except for the fact that they had fled from Czechoslovakia and not from Germany.  For some reason, all of my life I have thought that my grandmother grew up in Germany, and when she spoke of “going home for a visit”, I thought she was returning to the place of her childhood.

That is, until today….

Today, I realized that I’m not German at all.  My family were German speaking Czechs (like Schindler in “Schindler’s List).  When she fled in the night so many years ago, she never….ever returned to the place of her birth and childhood - to Czechoslovakia.  Never.

I want to go there - The Czech Republic - so badly now.  As I was expressing this, my parents mentioned that if I did they could give me the documents so that I could see about regaining some of the bank accounts that are still there in my grandfather’s name.

Here’s where the profundity lies, for me - what I’ve been pondering all day:

My dad said, “There are untold thousands of dollars in those accounts, and if your Grandmother could prove that she is his daughter, she could eventually get them back - but she’d have to go there to do it.  She’s never been back - never, in over 50 years!

What I keep thinking:

My little grandmother - who lives on a military pension, who grew up like a princess, who loves her European roots, who pinches pennies and has worked long hours to make ends meet -

My little grandmother would rather live on a meager fixed-income than go back……

Why?

I guess the answer lies in a kind of trauma that most Americans can neither understand or relate to.  The kind of freedoms we enjoy…the things that we argue about….the times we cry for the Government to fix our problems……we can’t ever truly understand this kind of trauma.

I guess my grandmother would rather live in peace in her little world - teaching little children in Sunday School, tending to her garden, and enjoying her family - than to have lots of money……and lots of governmental control.

You see, another thing my grandmother is passionate about is politics…in her quiet way.  She volunteers at voting sites, distributes petitions, and will engage other aging “Seniors” about the dangers of believing the scare tactics that many politicians will use to get elderly people to vote for them….

She’s no push-over.  She’s seen what “Government Control” can do, and she wants no part of it.

So, I guess I was just reminded - twice today…once at church, and then at lunch - that I should never take my freedoms lightly.

I should vote…and also remember:

It wasn’t just the wealthy that were hurt by the Government so many years ago, but also:

  • millions of Jews….so many were only little children
  • millions of families of business owners who had enriched entire towns
  • the elderly
  • the unborn
  • the infirm
  • the outspoken
  • the poet, the writer, the thinker……the dreamer
  • the Christian - true Christ-follower who became a “Hiding Place” for others

If we see ourselves in that list…or see anyone that we love, maybe it’s time to stop desiring for the Government to take from others to solve our problems.  Maybe it’s time to stop taking our freedoms for granted.  Maybe it’s time to vote with our heart and conscience..rather than just our wallet - or even out of protest.  Every time we take a freedom from someone else so that we can feel better ( like allowing millions of babies to be murdered and calling it “choice”) - every time we exchange someone else’s freedom for our own comfort…or out of our own fear, we lose a little more freedom ourselves.

I guess we never think a country like America could end up like Czechoslovakia….

But, I don’t think any country has ever really thought it could happen to them.

On November 4th, please vote. Please consider your faith and your conscience as you do.

I know I, and my little grandmother, will!

My Oma and Kael

My Oma and Kael

Peace.

The Remains of the Day

The sun is not quite going down yet, but I think I wouldn’t mind if it were.  I’m just a little weary today - sleep hasn’t been a friend the past few nights….I have always had a fickle relationship with sleep as it is.

This morning was good - the music was a little more low-key - we even did a personal favorite “Came to the Rescue”…and it was nice to hear the people singing praises.  That always lifts me!

We sang a new song, too - and it really spoke to me…to my soul:

“Love is Here” (Tenth Avenue North):

“Come to the water
You who thirst
And you’ll thirst no more
Come to the father
You who work
And you’ll work no more

And all you who labor in vain
And to the broken and shamed

Love is here
Love is now
Love is pouring from His hands
From His brow
Love is near
It satisfies
Streams of mercy flowing from His side
‘Cause love is here

Come to the treasure
You who search
And you’ll search no more
Come to the lover
You who want
And you’ll want no more, no

And all you who labor in vain
And to the broken and shamed

And to the bruised and fallen - captives bound and broken-hearted

He is the Lord
He is the Lord
By his stripes
He’s paid our ransom
From His wounds we drink salvation
He is the Lord
He is the Lord.

Love is here……”

I needed this encouragement this morning in my weariness…I guess we all need to be reminded of where love lies.

It was a good day…now I’m ready for a good night (maybe sleep will be my friend again…maybe).

Peace to you all.