It feels like I’ve been waiting and waiting forever for things to go back to the way they used to be.  Of course, life doesn’t work that way - time marches on and yesterday is left in the dust. But, at least, I think I’ve just about reached the fifth stage of grief: ACCEPTANCE.

Why the grieving?  Because of the seeming death of the blog!

I remember when I first began blogging - nearly 3 years ago.  It was something I never felt I really had before: an outlet for complete expression.  It was both comforting and therapeutic for me.  It connected me with people from all over.  My Mac was always with me, and since illness is a very common thing for me, it became a companion to me on those long days by myself.

Me...in the beginning.

During the first year and a half, my readership reached almost every state and nearly every continent.  Then, most of my local friends took up blogging too.  It was…wonderful.

Then, all of the sudden, everyone just stopped blogging…and reading.  I was in complete denial about it, but it must have affected me since I began to blog less and less often myself.  It turned into a big vicious cycle.  And I felt like I was being left on a cold mountain alone.

Then, on the news the newscaster said some words that took my breath:

“Blogging is so 2007!” - Apparently due to Facebook and Twitter and the ease of typing in quickly things like:  “I’m sitting on my porch with my dog”  and “I love this weather!”, the art of the blog has been left in the dust like the telephones that used to be “tethered to the wall”.

Those social networks that trade full expression for easy quips will never really do it for me.  Being more of a writer than the text-messaging type, I will always miss those days - the days of “Happy Wednesday!” and “The Remains of the Day” and that time in the day when I would read everyone’s blogs…

I just miss those days a lot.

I’ve been sick quite a bit lately - basically for the past month or so.  So I guess that has made this loss feel more profound.  Anyway, I’m doing what I’ve always done when the weather’s a little stormy for me…I write…I blog.  I have to.

Even if that’s as far as it goes.

I guess ,in the end, I have to remember that I can’t change what others think or do.  I can only change myself…my perspective.  I can be my own “Happy Wednesday” and be thankful for those years that my love of the blog carried me.

After all, I can still express myself…in the remains of the day.

Peace.

So many random things are rolling around in my mind today.

This past week, my baby Ethan, turned 9 - so I now really do have no more little babies, as much as I try to keep him my “baby” for as long as possible.  He really is a special child, so full of optimism and confidence.  I love him so…

Me and my little man

And so I move further and further from “mommy” and closer to just “mom”…but, I’m okay with it….well, yeah, I’m okay with it.

Next week Byron and I will go to Dallas for the fourth year now to the “Creative Church Conference”.  I remember that first year leaning over to Byron and asking “Do you think we could ever have an electric guitar on stage?” - of course, now we have 4 on some weeks…

I remember believing, back then, that I could bet my life on who my true friends were…who I could trust.  Things look very different today, I’m afraid.

Many, many things look very different today.

So, next week, we’ll fly to Dallas by ourselves - older (I older than he…a fact that will, sadly never ever change no matter how gray his beard gets) and wiser (wiser is not always more joyous….just wiser, that’s all.  I do believe that sometimes “ignorance is bliss”).  It will more than likely be our last trip to this particular conference - so we will try to learn whatever it is that we need to learn.

And this morning, I sang with the band (which included 4 guitars…and lots of “skinny jeans”!), and I thought about how things have changed - inwardly and outwardly.

That also may come to an end soon - I know I can’t do this forever…it’s a young man…woman’s game.  I don’t want to admit that I’m weary…but I am.

So much has changed over the past four years - much of which I would have bet any amount of money would never ever change.  We’ve seen so much change in our community of faith - so much of it so incredibly freeing and good.

But, these days are lonelier…they just are.  Doors open, others close.  People support you, then they go.

The sun rises and the sun sets..      .

And the Lord gives…and He takes away.

Blessed be the name of the Lord!

Blessed be the name of the Lord.

Peace.