Tag Archive for 'grieving'

…and so my nails are blue.

I woke this morning from a dead-sleep weepinginconsolably.  It freaked Byron out quite a bit, although he should be quite used to my idiosyncrasies by now.

You see, apparently, I was dreaming - I was in my sweet Oma’s kitchen and she said, “Angie have some more ‘mah-cah-rrroni’”. I laughed and said, “I’m too full….you know my birthday’s coming up and I’m feeling so old.” She was the one to laugh then, and said, “I know, I only wish I had left you a card before I had to go away…”

Then, I just said, “Please, please don’t go….”

But, I woke up - and was crying because I knew she had gone.

picture-186

I also seem to be struggling with the fact that never again will I be….thirty-something.  And, like my Oma’s passing, it just seems so final.

I was flipping through a magazine, trying to pass the time during Sugar-Boy’s morning “time out” - and I saw a fashion section that had 2 categories:

  1. 20’s and 30’s - which was full of fun and hip trends…
  2. 40’s …and beyond. - which was …..everything else.

….so, I guess that’s how I’m feeling today…..like the catch-all “everything else” category….

Anyway…

So I painted my fingernails navy blue.

I feel a little better now as I watch my “way-too-dark-for-my-age” nails type on my new MacBook Pro…..

Yes, that’s my birthday present.  A spankin’ new “hoss” of a machine - with a hot pink cover, of course.

It’s gorgeous.

But, still….the keys feel different under my unusually dark nails….very unfamiliar - even though I’ve transferred everything including my zebra cling to the outside cover.

Still….

I guess I’m just not aging as gracefully as I had planned to.

I’m actually feeling quite rebellious at this point.

…….and so…….

my nails are blue!

Peace.