Tag Archive for 'hope'Page 2 of 11

You mean everyone was NAKED!!?

…this question is just another reason why I love my “girls”….the staff wives at C3 Church.

Travis, our Student Pastor (and frequent “other-hat-wearer”) wrote this post about a conversation that his bride, Sandi, had recently:

So Sandi was talking to her mom last night and the topic of church came up. What I found so interesting is that Sandi’s mom lives and always has lived is a small northern town that is steeped in tradition and the Greek Orthodox Church. So, pretty much all the churches including the protestant ones are very old, stuffy and dying.

Last night though, Sandi’s mom had mentioned that she went to a church that was actually growing and in her words; “busting at the seems.” What was so interesting is that this church is the same style and flow of C3. Now remember Sandi’s mom has always lived in little traditional towns and has grown up in churches that do church for church people. So, when she hit this new fangled church thing she about freaked out. The first thing out of her mouth was “no one came dressed for church.” To which Sandi commented back; “you mean everyone was naked?” Of course that’s not what her mom meant, but it was fun to poke at her a little. Sandi’s mom just couldn’t believe that people would actually come to church in shorts and Ts. Oh the horror! J

Anyway to make a long story short, after getting over the “naked” thing, Sandi was really able to explain in detail why that church in PA and C3 do what we do. Now Sandi’s mom is not about to head out and join a contemporary, progressive church. But, what was so cool is that by the end of their conversation Sandi’s mom “got it” and understood the importance of our style of church. Even though it’s not her style she loved the idea of churches that actually go after those, who are disenfranchised with church and God. I thought that was really cool. I also just kept thinking; if a sixty something year old, who has been indoctrinated with tradition ever since she was a girl, can “get it” then why can’t certain others (God tells us that we’re to love those far from Him) get it? I mean really, how hard is it to understand that we’re all different and not every church is for everyone. So instead of being scared of and slamming churches like C3 and the one in PA, why not just understand that we’re reaching our culture and that’s a good thing. Just interesting.

…and so goes my continuing love, respect and utter enjoyment toward the awesome women that God allows me to serve with.

The Real Staff Wives of Orange County

The Real Staff Wives of Orange County

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on September 26, 2008
in church, faith, friends, love and women
. 3 Comments

Pressing on…

Traveling has a tendency to make me pensive…and this trip is no different.  There has been so much to process.

Byron and I took this trip to celebrate 19 years of wedded bliss :-) - and we’ve also taken advantage of the opportunity to see how other ministries function…

I’m always challenged to meet other pastors and their wives.  And it’s always good to be a “visitor” at a different church, so that I never forget what it feels like…to be a visitor. Functioning in our world…our safe little bubble can cause me to forget what it felt like to come in from the outside.

I also was reminded of why we made the transition from a highly traditional ministry to a more progressive and diverse one.

I had someone ask how our children - in light of all they’ve suffered through because of our ministry - how they have avoided resenting God, us and the church…

…before even thinking about the response I said, “They’ve understood why we’ve suffered…and at who’s hands…we just had to get them away from most of the ‘christians’ in their life”.

It just came out before I thought about it…it must have seemed odd for a pastor’s wife to need protect her children from ‘christians’, but I’ll take that any day over feeling like they have ill-feelings toward God or serving Him.  No church, christian organization, or person claiming a certain belief system should be above the honest scrutiny of a child - children recognize hypocrisy and we have to be honest…

…people screw up, God doesn’t.

So, if my kids are a little gun-shy of institutional church and surface-focused christians, there’s a reason for that.  We’re having to be honest about a lot of things in order to help them heal.

Anyway, it’s a continuing journey, and this weekend caused me to realize that I’m still healing….there are still things to overcome.  I look forward to the day when certain types of buildings or ministries don’t strike fear in my heart…

…healing will come.

Part of the process is the joy that comes from being able to experience a church like Cross Point. It was a breath of fresh air to see such authenticity and…realness.  It was exactly what I needed since I was unable to be with my beloved C3.

It’s been nice to get away - the mountains are so lovely, but I’m ready to be home.  I miss my home, my kids, my C3 - all of it.

Happy Anniversary, Babe!

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on September 15, 2008
in life
. 4 Comments

So I Can…

I think God is needing to continually remind me to be sensitive to others around me. I know this because I’ve been so tempted lately to concentrate on my own difficulties and struggles. I ask myself, “Why me?” - I begin to see everything from the negative perspective. The only thing that seems to help when I start thinking like this is to make myself focus on others: their needs, their difficulties. Getting my eyes off myself is the only remedy.

God has seen fit to allow many challenges over the past few years - and, lately, I’ve felt myself feeling like, “What’s the point? I think God just doesn’t like me very much.” For me, struggling with depression can lead to a vicious cycle of self-centeredness.

There are so many people facing hardships right now. The housing market, gas prices, company downsizing - so many are suffering. And then I see those who try to profit from the vulnerability of those facing hardship. Sometimes it seems like those who take advantage will continue come out on top…

There’s only one thing that helps me when I begin to feel hopeless about the condition of the world around me. I have to focus on others and try to be different than those who only care about their own success. There are plenty of people who face greater challenges than I have faced. There are countless stories of those who are worse-off than I. I just have to open my heart and really see them.

Yesterday was a hard day for me. I had some things…dreams that I just had to let go. I won’t say that I didn’t tell myself, “Why am I having to let go of this too - I’m tired of letting go…tired of telling myself to just be content…just tired.” I know it doesn’t sound very spiritual to admit that I didn’t just immediately say to myself, “Okay, well, that’s not what I would prefer, but God is in control.”

I can be very argumentative at times - when I was little my parents told me I really should consider being a lawyer so at least I could make a living off of my argumentative tendencies…but I digress.

Anyway, so I argued with God all day, then wrestled with my feelings of frustration toward certain “profit mongers” all night (dreaming of exposing them like a taller version of Erin Brockovich). I woke up this morning angry and still having a gigantic pity-party.

Then Byron put me in the car - to “get coffee” which is code for “get me out of the house so maybe I’ll snap out of my funk and channel my negative energy into something positive…and take a shower.” (okay, so maybe he didn’t think it through that much, but if any of these things happened it’s a win/win).

As we drove around, I noticed all the “For Sale” signs…again. Only this time I thought about how each of those families could be feeling. I wondered if they had had to let go of some dreams…if they were feeling hopeless and taken advantage of.

Then I saw a little boy.

He was standing in front of an overturned laundry basket with assorted toys on top and a sign that said, “Toys for Sale”. I started crying. I said, “Byron, give him some money…please.” Byron didn’t have any cash on him, but he was already heading toward the ATM. As we drove there, I rambled on about all the scenarios that could’ve motivated this little boy to sell his toys…until I couldn’t talk any more. I told Byron not to just give him the money, but to buy something…just the smallest thing he had to sell. So, Byron got out and talked to the boy, and returned with two little cars that he was selling for a dollar each…Byron gave him $20.

As we drove away, the little boy was jumping up and down and clapping. And I was tempted to think negatively about how it didn’t really change anything…

…but it did change me.

So, I started thinking about how maybe God lets me suffer so that I can feel the suffering of others. Maybe he knows that if my heart is already broken, and I’m struggling not to cry, then I will reach out to others who have that same look in their eyes. I can recognize brokenness because I too am broken…

Maybe.

So, maybe these struggles are just another gift from God. Maybe He wants me to argue for those who don’t have a voice and fight for those who don’t have it in them to fight anymore…

Maybe.

Just a thought.

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on May 31, 2008
in faith, hope, life, life lessons, love and social issues
. 0 Comments

Only a Glance…

So, a year ago today I wrote a post called “Letting Go“…

It’s hard to believe it’s been a year, in some ways - in others it seems like a lifetime ago. I can still feel what I felt back then - I can feel it in seconds, if I choose to. Lately, I have been just not choosing to…

They say that if you drive for very long staring into the rear-view mirror, you’ll end up in a head-on collision. That’s true when it comes to the pain of the past, as well. You can glance in the mirror, occasionally, but you can’t let it distract you from what’s coming up ahead.

In so many ways letting go, for me, is a constant process - a constant discipline of the will. I’ve had to discover and develop a whole new set of boundaries in which the approval of others gets only a fleeting nod…not my full attention. It’s hard to not care what others say about you…to not stick your finger in the wind to see how it blows: for you or against.

But, there’s real freedom in some losses…

So, today, the lessons of the past will get a fleeting glance from me…just a glance - an acknowledgement of whatever I learned by experiencing and embracing my losses. Just a glance - a brief remembrance, and nothing more.

Because the pain is not what has shaped me - but the working through it…and the letting go.

A year ago I wrote, “My heart is broken, but my spirit is free…”. It’s still true today that there are things that break my heart, but still allow for greater freedom …freedom from my past and all of the things I’ve had to let go.

There’s a reason why the rear-view mirror is so much smaller than the windshield…

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on May 22, 2008
in life and life lessons
. 0 Comments