….was one of the questions in my mind - somewhere in the night.  The upside is that if I was sleeping hard enough to lose track of where I was, at least I was SLEEPING!!! Sleep has been something that has escaped me over the past week or so.

The downside of the question “Where am I” is that in my sleep-stupor I was still frantically wondering if I might be in the same room with the DEMON CLOWNS THAT CAME TO MY FRONT PORCH LAST NIGHT!!!!

As a side note:  I have always had “issues” with clowns.  I can’t sleep if there’s a picture or figurine or any such image of a clown anywhere near my presence…..Then, there’s the whole “Steven King’s ‘IT’ ” fiasco of 1990!  I should still be in therapy over that trauma!

…but, I digress…..

Actually, I think I’ll talk a little about that…you know movie/mini-series that I mentioned above by Steven King:

You see, I NEVER watch horror movies...and by never, I mean: NU-HEH-VER!!!! I can turn a scary episode of “Sponge Bob Square Pants” into a horror movie….but, I digress…

So, in 1990, Byron and I moved to rural Missouri.  Kayleigh was only a few months old.  We moved into a very old, very creepy two-story house (in which the former tenant had committed suicide - SERIOUSLY!).  Byron was going to school and working two jobs - one at the local hospital as an orderly.  AND, OF COURSE, HE WORKED THE GRAVEYARD SHIFT (7pm to 7am)!!!!

So, on one particular “my husband’s working the graveyard shift and I’m here in a replica of the Amityville Horror house in a town where I know NO ONE” night, I was surfing our 7 channels and happened upon a story of some childhood friends who decide to return to their hometown……kind of like a reunion. I love reunions….how festive, how nice, how…..

OMG - HOW IN THE WIDE-WORLD-OF-SPORTS DID I MISS THE DEMON CLOWN WHO LIVES IN THE SEWER AND KILLS LITTLE CHILDREN PART OF THE STORY LINE?!!!  SERIOUSLY??!!!

So, needless to say, I paced the floor until Byron returned at 7:30 the next morning, and didn’t sleep for the next week…

We moved shortly after that.

Where was I?

Oh yeah,…

So, last night on my front porch, I was in the middle of fawning over a little girl in her adorable fairy princess costume - saying, “How cute!  I need an outfit like that for my own self!!” - when I felt a strange disturbance in “the force” around me….

As I looked up, not just one but TWO DEMON CLOWNS WITH BLOOD COVERED FANGS were headed up the steps to my front porch.  I hate to say I lost my composure - I mean, I tried…I really did.  But, in the end, I had my face buried in my hands and was whimpering and saying strange things in a kind of hysterical laugh-like voice……

And, with all that in my head last night, I tried to “catch up” on my sleep………

So, I’m somewhat fragile this morning.  I made the mistake of asking Byron if “the movie” really was released in 1990 (wanting to make sure my facts were right), so he proceeded to Google it for me so I didn’t have to see….you know “IT”.  The problem is that he - not having ever seen the movie - clicked on a clip…..and didn’t turn down the sound.

So, now I’m done crying hysterically….

So, now I can finish this post…..

I think I really need to go read the Bible or pray or something……

AND SOMEONE ELSE IS GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE DOWN THOSE 8 FT. SPIDERS WITH THE RED EYES!!!!!!

Peace.