Tag Archive for 'travel'

Pressing on…

Traveling has a tendency to make me pensive…and this trip is no different.  There has been so much to process.

Byron and I took this trip to celebrate 19 years of wedded bliss :-) - and we’ve also taken advantage of the opportunity to see how other ministries function…

I’m always challenged to meet other pastors and their wives.  And it’s always good to be a “visitor” at a different church, so that I never forget what it feels like…to be a visitor. Functioning in our world…our safe little bubble can cause me to forget what it felt like to come in from the outside.

I also was reminded of why we made the transition from a highly traditional ministry to a more progressive and diverse one.

I had someone ask how our children - in light of all they’ve suffered through because of our ministry - how they have avoided resenting God, us and the church…

…before even thinking about the response I said, “They’ve understood why we’ve suffered…and at who’s hands…we just had to get them away from most of the ‘christians’ in their life”.

It just came out before I thought about it…it must have seemed odd for a pastor’s wife to need protect her children from ‘christians’, but I’ll take that any day over feeling like they have ill-feelings toward God or serving Him.  No church, christian organization, or person claiming a certain belief system should be above the honest scrutiny of a child - children recognize hypocrisy and we have to be honest…

…people screw up, God doesn’t.

So, if my kids are a little gun-shy of institutional church and surface-focused christians, there’s a reason for that.  We’re having to be honest about a lot of things in order to help them heal.

Anyway, it’s a continuing journey, and this weekend caused me to realize that I’m still healing….there are still things to overcome.  I look forward to the day when certain types of buildings or ministries don’t strike fear in my heart…

…healing will come.

Part of the process is the joy that comes from being able to experience a church like Cross Point. It was a breath of fresh air to see such authenticity and…realness.  It was exactly what I needed since I was unable to be with my beloved C3.

It’s been nice to get away - the mountains are so lovely, but I’m ready to be home.  I miss my home, my kids, my C3 - all of it.

Happy Anniversary, Babe!

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on September 15, 2008
in life
. 4 Comments

The Back Side of the Clouds

Okay, so it’s an understatement to say that I’m not a big fan of flying…I am working on it, though. But, on our trip out to Dallas, I realized something about turbulence.

We took off in some cloudy weather - of which I am NOT a huge fan - I was disturbed and dismayed by the fact that I was still conscious (my medicine didn’t seem to be working - not a huge fan of that either!), and I was feeling every bump of the cloud-filled sky we were cutting our way through.

After what seemed like an eternity of climbing, I could tell the plane was leveling out - and finally, was starting to feel sleepy (just in time to hear the pilot say that although we had reached our “cruising altitude” he was leaving the “fasten seat belts” light on due to turbulence!) - about that time, I glanced out the window, planning to pull the shade and pretend I was on a beach somewhere…or at least just driving through the mountains…

…but, I digress…

So, as I reached for the shade, I noticed something. I glanced out just before my hand was going to yank the shade closed.

Any of you who read my blog know I have a slight love affair with the sky - I love it, no matter what it does. I love it at dawn, and I love it at dusk…at midnight and during a lightening storm. It is one of the elements of nature that feels, to me, like a personal gift from God. So, as I reached to shut the world out…to try and forget where I was, I glanced at the sky…

We were now on the other side of the clouds. I could understand why it had been so tumultuous - there were so many clouds! They took my breath with their beauty, and for a moment I forgot how much they had terrified me…

…I forgot how I had wished them away just seconds before.

The very thing that had made me want to run…to escape the sickening feeling of bumping and falling, was now so beautiful to me. The thing that had caused me to feel unsafe and even a little desperate was now calming me and flooding me with a sense of safety and understanding…

It made more sense now. We were climbing to a new height - a whole “nother” level, and the bumps and bruises along the way were the only way to break through to the other side. I had to go through the storm to get to see the beauty.

I’ll never forget the way those clouds looked. I had been so frustrated that it was so bumpy when I had asked God to clear the way. I was a little panicked that my medicine wasn’t working…that I wasn’t asleep yet. But, if I had missed the thing that terrified me, I would have also missed the beauty…the gift.

It was like a whisper from God. The bigger and scarier the storm, the more beautiful the other side of the clouds will seem. I needed to be reminded of that. I still need to remember…but, now when I need to be reminded, all I have to do is look up.

I know what the back side of the clouds look like - I can carry that with me for future storms. And, after all, it’s not the “back side” to God. He sees all of it - and He has us covered.

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on February 25, 2008
in faith, life, life lessons and travel
. 0 Comments

Sipping from a Fire Hydrant…

So we’ll be flying home in the morning…just a few hours between me and another plane ride. If I weren’t so exhausted and looking forward to getting home, I would spend all night worrying about that, but…

The past few days have been good - there’s been so much to absorb. I know I’ll spend weeks just trying to process it all.

One thing that Bishop Jakes said really resonated with me…well, many things he said did that, but when he talked about leadership and loneliness, he described the people that surround us as falling into one of three categories:

  • Confidants - those who are for you…no matter what happens, they are there for you. These people are rare and few.
  • Constituents - those who are for what you are for. They are with you as long as you are “for” the same thing - until someone comes along who is better at it than you…or makes them feel better about themselves.
  • Comrades - those who are against what you are against. Nothing makes for the illusion of friendship like a common enemy.

The problem comes when we mistake constituents and comrades for confidants, we think they are “for us” - when they aren’t at all - they are simply fighting for a common cause or against a common enemy. The last two will always go eventually…

I’ve learned a lot about this - I’ve also realized that I’ve been blessed to have some real confidants…probably more than most…so I can accept and even rejoice in the comings and goings of the constituents and the comrades. It’s alright, they were never meant to do more in my world. At least for a little while, there was a common cause…a greater good. And with each transition, my true confidants become clearer and clearer. This is such a blessing to me.

And rather than worry about airplane turbulence and other things I can’t begin to control, I think I’ll go to sleep tonight counting the blessings of my confidants…and constituents and comrades too - whatever it takes to get the job done.

So, there are three more C’s for me to ponder…

Here’s to my confidants…you know who you are. As for the rest, I’ll just hold on loosely…

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on February 23, 2008
in friends and life lessons
. 0 Comments

Turning Out the Lights…

It’s been strange to be so unconnected today…I haven’t had time to even open my computer, much less blog.

Now it’s after midnight, and tomorrow will probably be much like today, so I thought I’d just write a few lines before going to sleep…

…we were in conference meetings all day, then spent a few hours tonight just being together - as a staff - and talking about the past year, how we’ve changed, and what we’ve learned…

of course, there are so many things: too many to mention, especially at midnight. It was good though, to know that we’ve come through it all together…and we’re still standing.

I’m exhausted now, so I think I’ll try to get some sleep - it will be morning before I know it…

It’s freezing here…freezing - and I forgot my coat…oh well, it’s almost spring in Florida, so I’ll survive.

I miss my kids terribly…but, it’s been good to spend time with my girls (the other pastor’s wives) and just “get away” a little bit.

Good night…peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on February 22, 2008
in blogging, friends, life, random and travel
. 0 Comments