Tag Archive for 'trust'

Sipping from a Fire Hydrant…

So we’ll be flying home in the morning…just a few hours between me and another plane ride. If I weren’t so exhausted and looking forward to getting home, I would spend all night worrying about that, but…

The past few days have been good - there’s been so much to absorb. I know I’ll spend weeks just trying to process it all.

One thing that Bishop Jakes said really resonated with me…well, many things he said did that, but when he talked about leadership and loneliness, he described the people that surround us as falling into one of three categories:

  • Confidants - those who are for you…no matter what happens, they are there for you. These people are rare and few.
  • Constituents - those who are for what you are for. They are with you as long as you are “for” the same thing - until someone comes along who is better at it than you…or makes them feel better about themselves.
  • Comrades - those who are against what you are against. Nothing makes for the illusion of friendship like a common enemy.

The problem comes when we mistake constituents and comrades for confidants, we think they are “for us” - when they aren’t at all - they are simply fighting for a common cause or against a common enemy. The last two will always go eventually…

I’ve learned a lot about this - I’ve also realized that I’ve been blessed to have some real confidants…probably more than most…so I can accept and even rejoice in the comings and goings of the constituents and the comrades. It’s alright, they were never meant to do more in my world. At least for a little while, there was a common cause…a greater good. And with each transition, my true confidants become clearer and clearer. This is such a blessing to me.

And rather than worry about airplane turbulence and other things I can’t begin to control, I think I’ll go to sleep tonight counting the blessings of my confidants…and constituents and comrades too - whatever it takes to get the job done.

So, there are three more C’s for me to ponder…

Here’s to my confidants…you know who you are. As for the rest, I’ll just hold on loosely…

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on February 23, 2008
in friends and life lessons
. 0 Comments

Baby Steps and Basket Cases…

So, I haven’t really felt like blogging…not sure why - just not feeling it.

Anyway, “Happy Wednesday”…sorry, I missed it. “Happy Valentine’s Day”…Byron did a good job of making me feel special. And…sorry for not blogging. I have no excuses…

…except that I’ve been thinking a lot lately…mainly, about trust.

I keep thinking that I need to trust God more - and that’s just a given - of course I do, I’m finite and it’s an infinite concept to trust an omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, sovereign God - when I am none of those things, but that’s where the trust comes in….because I’m none of those things.

I need to trust God more not just in the big things, but in the little, petty things that I often tell myself He cares nothing about. I also need to stop worrying that I can’t handle whatever comes my way…duh! Of course I can’t handle it - I’ve proven that over and over…’til I’m a basket case for all my trying. Again, that’s where the trust comes in.

When I was younger, I was so much better at the whole trust thing. I trusted God so easily, I trusted everyone around me…even those who didn’t really deserve it….and I even trusted myself - I felt strong and optimistic so much of the time. On trips, I used to say to Byron, “How lost could we possibly get? The world is round, after all!” or if people threatened us , I’d say, “What’s the worse that could happen. They can only kill us once!” or… “We’re moving again? I can be packed in 4 days!”

I was full of “emphatic proclamations” of my idealism of how the world should be and how I was sure people would act….even me.

I don’t make quite as many proclamations any more. But, I am more sure of a some things. I am more discriminating….much more about who I take into my confidence now. But I don’t trust as easily. Not others. Not myself. And sometimes, not even God. Becoming more guarded with others can lead to that if I’m not careful.

Boundaries are a great and healthy thing, don’t get me wrong. (For instance, boundaries are far better than the idealism - nice word for it - that caused me to stand in my doorway, 7 months pregnant with a toddler in my arms, telling the strapping 6 ft. 2, door-to-door magazine salesman that he’d have to come back after five when my husband was home….!!!!). Like I said, I trusted everyone. Not now. Not anymore. Boundaries come much easier….trust, not so much.

Anyway, that’s what I’ve been thinking about - as I’ve not been blogging. Now I just have to do the work of not just thinking about it…or talking about it, but actually putting it more into practice.

Trust…and exercise - my two new resolutions. Wonder which one will be tougher? We’ll see…

…one day at a time, right?

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on February 14, 2008
in faith and life
. 0 Comments