Tag Archive for 'women'

To be or not to…..(you know how it goes)

picture-5

This morning, I heard myself tell someone that I’m “41″.

The words just rolled off my tongue - as if I were not saying, “Hello, I’m now 41, and I don’t know how I got to be in my 40’s when I feel like I should just be beginning my 20’s most days….”

Of course, there are many other days when I feel the passage of time like feathers on the wind that I can’t retrieve fast enough…and it would be pointless to try.

It’s hard being a woman in your 40’s - but, it’s made somewhat easier since the road to becoming a woman in her 40’s is quite trying - requiring the acquisition of a tough mind….and even tougher skin.  I guess I should say, it’s a hard journey to get there…and then once you arrive, you are rarely complimented for enduring the joys and trials that, most often, show up like a road map on your face.

For a man that’s called character. The world is not so kind to us women.  But, all of these things make us better, I suppose…preparing us for the days to come.

All of these things didn’t go through my head in that moment when I first spoke the words “41″ this morning, in relation to how long I’ve now been alive.  But, the thoughts are there, nonetheless.

Or, better still, they’re there…..in the “road map” on my face.

picture-8

As I walked away and went to get on stage to sing with some very talented…..teens & twenty-somethings, I thought about which I’d rather be….

…a butterfly or a moth.

Of course, the butterfly is so beautiful to look at, so often photographed and even captured and placed in a frame to show off its colors.  The moth, not so much…..it just plugs along - doing what it does.

I guess I’ve kind of always been pulled between these polar ends:  the beautiful and the practical - one so often overlooked, and one so often mishandled and desired as a trophy….

Both paths are hard.  Both have their downsides.

I guess that’s why I took both of these pictures in the mountains on a morning after the rain had past.  They were both so beautiful in their own way.  They both caught my eye.  And it was as if nature was reminding me:  Don’t worry about which you are, just be……just fly and forget about the rest.

So, I walked into the theater to sing 4 sets (feeling more like a moth than ever), and I just decided to just “be” - to fly….and forget about the rest.

I am 41, after all.  So I can fly displaying whatever colors I want!

…….and just forget about the rest.

Peace.

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on August 22, 2010
in Uncategorized, church, life lessons, love, random and women
. 0 Comments

Couch Potato Yoga Master

(Actually I can’t remember the exact title I received…Yoga “Master”…”Teacher….”Trainer……oh well the point is:)

So, in the same session on the Wii fit, I received both the titles “Couch Potato” and “Yoga Master”…..as well as the conflicting report of being “unrankable” in one skill and “your body is very flexible” in another….

Apparently, I can’t get out of the way of a huge shoe being hurled at my head, but I can achieve quite a “Zen State” in touch with many levels of my chahkra - although said “Zen State” is difficult to maintain whilst being PUMMELED BY A SHOE!!!….I’m just sayin’!

Anyway, this new “path to inner balance” via the Wii fit is:

STRESSING ME OUT!!…but, oddly calming at the same time - I think, perhaps, because this level of dichotomy is so very familiar……

I am both a Couch Potato and a Yoga Master….and I embrace both halves of myself as they come together in perfect….insanity!

…..so there you go and there you are!

I’m just sayin’.

Peace…….

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on June 15, 2009
in Uncategorized
. 2 Comments

Saturday in the Park…

So, I’m on day 5 of my “Detox”…….

Here’s the progression:

  • I’ve had no coffee, espresso or latte……nothing since I began!!  This must be put into proper context for you who are new to “Angie-ville” - last week alone, I probably consumed, on average, around 4 ounces of espresso per day….and 2-3 additional cups of coffee, other “energy” type drinks, and maybe 1 to 2 caffeinated sodas!  In other words, can you spell A-D-D-I-C-T-I-O-N!?
  • In order to combat the excruciating headaches that come along with quitting that amount of caffeine “cold turkey”, I sipped on organic (freshly brewed, not bottled) green tea, with no sugar.  The first day was pretty rough, but after that I didn’t even have my normal “it’s 10 o’clock and my triple espresso latte is wearing off” headaches!
  • At least one meal per day I’ve substituted “Living Fuel” (Greens & Berry) - so that I can be sure I’m getting all the nutrients I need….this also gave me some much needed energy to fight the “Detox Blues”
  • I’ve walked, briskly, around 3 miles each day - since I spent so many hours upon hours sitting in the Excursion “Bus”!
  • I’ve removed as much processed food as I could bear…decreasing each day - no gluten, wheat or refined flours or sugars.  Being hypoglycemic for years (and not knowing it) has caused some serious insulin resistance “issues” for me - so even the smallest amount of gluten, and my body thinks I’m gorging on doughnuts all day!!  So, I just have to remove it all together.
  • I’ve increased my water intake - probably the hardest part for me….I can’t explain this - it just is!
  • I’ve become more aware of my breathing - this may sound silly, but, shallow breathing can trigger adrenaline to kick in…..like in “high stress” situations, then my blood sugar drops…..stressing my organs and shutting down my metabolism - I know, right?…who knew a good, deep breathe could be so good for you - think of it as a “Victory Breath”!

Here’s where I am now:

  • Since I’m still in the “detox” stage I won’t say I feel wonderful…but, it’s getting better every day - I just choose to look at any discomfort as temporary……like the toxins are going away - Yay!!
  • I’m not into weighing myself - but, since weight gain is a sign that I’m not managing something right: (either my food choice or my stress), I weighed myself, grudgingly….but, I haven’t weighed myself every day (this is pointless and can be extremely counterproductive..but I won’t lecture!) - Anyway, I’ve lost 3 pounds in 5 days, so I know I’m moving in the right direction.
  • After a lovely trip to “Whole Foods”, things are a little easier - snacking on organic dark cherries and raw almonds gives me just the boost I need….(According to Dr. Susan Smith Jones: “Two ounces of almonds give you more than 50 percent of your daily requirement of magnesium - …(they) reduce cholesterol and lower risk for heart disease.  (They) also may reduce the risk of colon cancer.”)
  • I’m continuing my love affair with the avocado!  Women, hear me, these are miracle foods.…full of beneficial “fats” and oils that nourish your skin and hair…….WONDERFUL!!….eaten as a part of a natural “diet”, free of processed foods, these good fats won’t add weight - in fact, there are studies that support the fact that they actually aid in flattening your stomach - after 4 kids, I’m all for that!!!
  • I’m working my way into being consistent with a yoga regimen - that’s a personal goal of mine for this summer……we’ll see!!
  • I’ve been reading that Parsnips are wonderful for you - they are nicknamed the “beauty food”, but, I don’t think I’ve ever eaten a parsnip in my life!  Anyway, over the next week I’ll be getting some - figuring them out and putting them to the test - I’ll let you know!
  • BOTTOM LINE: The 3 top things I’ve been trying to embrace:  Purity, Breath & Movement:
  1. Purity: …in the things I eat and drink - is it real, is it beneficial, is it “life giving”?
  2. Breath: How am I breathing in this moment - if I feel tense or stressed, then breathe….just breathe!! (Victory Breath!!)
  3. Movement: How am I moving - am I in balance…if I’m growing weary, maybe I need to just move…stretch, breathe…walk outside…breathe…..MOVE!

So, there you go…

It’s a crazy life - but it’s mine…wait, that sounds like a certain show with a ton of kids… - no, I’m sticking with it since dealing with ONE of me is similar to dealing with EIGHT of them!!  :-)

Peace…

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on June 13, 2009
in exercise, life, life lessons and women
. 5 Comments

Taken

Something happened to me while I was in Texas…..

.…okay, so this could go a whole bunch of directions…so, let me be more specific:

This last trip to Texas…..last week, affected me - and I’ve been trying to remind myself of this all day…..so I never, ever forget…..

You see, Byron and I (and Barry Leathers - C3 Executive Pastor and his better-half Amanda) went to the annual “Creative Church Conference” at Fellowship Church in Grapevine, Texas.  The conference was good…I wasn’t feeling particularly receptive, though…just a little weary, actually……..but, I digress….

Then, on the first night - which was, honestly, feeling a little like a TBN Christmas Special, a petite Australian woman woke me up from my glitter-induced trance……she came crashing right into the middle of my “weariness”…..

Her name is Christine Caine and this is what she said: (for my friends in “google reader”…there’s a video here…you’ll have to come to my blog to see it…sorry for the inconvenience!)

…and it didn’t end there.  For a break, the next afternoon, we decided to take in a movie……..“Taken” sounded action-packed.  We just didn’t bother to really research the story-line.  So, I spent the next few hours - knees up against my chest in a theater, weeping…..and promising myself I didn’t need any more pushing to action……vowing to myself that it didn’t have to be my daughter in order for me to be compelled to help!

Then, Tommy Barnett spoke of his “Dream Centers” and I remembered once more my desire kindled the year before to do something like that……..it was all coming back to me……

On the final night, after a rousing message from Bishop T. D. Jakes…like there ever are any other kind from the Bishop….but, again….I digress…..

Anyway, on the final night - we came in a little later than usual after stopping to grab some burgers….and the lobby was just beginning to jump with activity….so I almost missed her…

I could tell she wanted to remain “unseen”…it’s what actually drew my attention to her.  She looked as if she could’ve been meeting friends…going “clubbing”…..but, then again, not really.  She was going out as everyone else was coming in….and just didn’t look like a carefree 20-something girl.  She would’ve been tiny except for her 4-inch stilettos…..and so pretty….but, her make-up was already worn……….

Something about the way she put her head down and pulled her trench-coat so tightly around her made me look closer……our eyes met…..

She rushed by even more quickly then, not wanting me to examine her………..

It was like a gradual dawning….so that I was weeping on the elevator.  She was leaving after her “work” was done.

I said to Byron, simply, “Did you see her?”.  He said softly through tightened lips, “Yes” - (wanting to beat some unknown man into the dust).  And all I could say was, “That was someones’ daughter….somebody’s little girl……..and someone has just been so, so careless with her……”

It haunted me all night…

…haunts me still.

But, I know I need to do more than just feel bad…..

So, I’ll do for now all I know to do:  Research, Raise Awareness, Gather Support, …….and Act….however that is that I can….whatever that ends up looking like.

This is just the beginning of my journey into fighting injustice…..

It’s a huge, huge war.

But, I’ve got to practice what I preach - you know, “LOVE WINS”….remember that?  Well, I’ve had enough reminders lately that there are so many out there that have no concept of what love even looks like…..let alone feeling like it’s “winning” for them.

I’m listening….now I’m really listening……

Can you hear them too?

Peace………..please, peace………

Published
by
angiebledsoe
on February 26, 2009
in Uncategorized
. 12 Comments