Busy day - busy, busy…

I was thinking…I have to do that a lot since I have so many “issues” (when you’re a melancholy/sanguine, you tend to be fraught with issues).

Anyway, the boys and I were in the car and decided to listen to some music - since I was without my iPod and the CD player doesn’t work right in my truck, I turned on the radio. The first button on my programmed stations is the local Christian station - when it came on, my first instinct was to change it…quickly. Why? Well, let me try to explain.

Of course, I love Christian music. Worship is my passion…

I could try to blame my desire to change the station on the obvious: They rarely play anything new, and they run great songs into the ground!!! But, that wasn’t what caused my visceral reaction - my knee-jerk desire to find anything else to listen to.

You see, our town is full of listeners to this radio station - full of cars, trucks and vans with it’s bumper stickers on the back…they’re everywhere! And while, when I was more “idealistic”, I used to think how great it was that so many people were driving around worshipping God - I, now, watch for those bumper stickers…I have a knee-jerk, visceral reaction to them, too…

Where I used to see those stickers and think, “There’s someone who loves God like I do - there’s a kindred spirit…”, I now scan the parking lot of the grocery store for those stickers and if there are an abundance, I do my shopping somewhere else. I would rather pull into a biker-bar and be met by angry tattooed gangsters than to happen upon a gathering of the church-girl soccer moms with their minivans and bumper stickers at the Chick-Fil-A! I think I would get a warmer reception from the first crowd…

But, I left the radio on the Christian station. Because my boys were in the car, and they don’t have the same “issues” as I do (Thank God!). Because they were playing a new Casting Crown song that I really needed to hear (then an old Mercy Me song that I needed to hear more). Because God doesn’t deserve to be defined by how poorly He is reflected by people who say they follow Him…

Just because.

And because I can worship Him no matter what’s on the station or in my head - no matter if I’m on top or at the bottom - no matter if I’m loved…or loathed. At the biker bar or the fast-food chicken place, He’s still God.

The Casting Crowns song reminded me that God continues to forgive me over and over and over - and put my sin as far as the East is from the West - and I should do the same. And the Mercy Me song reminded me of a time when I needed to be told over and over and over to “Hold on - help is on the way. Hold on, He’s come to save the day. What I’ve learned in this life: one thing greater than my strife is His grasp…” And remembering that the only thing that brought me through that dark time was His grasp. So, my listening experience was also a learning experience. No one needs to define God to me, other than God.

The radio is still on that station. I’ll probably hit the change button soon - all it will take is three or four songs in a row that they were playing (in that same order) five years ago. But, I won’t change it today. Not for the reason that almost made me miss some encouragement this afternoon - not because church people do a whole lot of fronting as worshippers. Not because of my “issues”. Not today.

I really need to go find my iPod…

Peace.